On this show, the title is quite literal. The surest way to kill a vamp is to rip out their heart (punching through their ribs to do it), and Valerie did just that to Oscar last week, to shut him up about Julian. Damon, Bonnie and Alaric spend the episode trying to bring him back (to appease Lily), which doesn’t work too well, until it suddenly does. Damon thinks he’s woken up one of Lily’s Reaver vamp children, but is that all he’s done? Time will tell. As part of the hostage switch between Oscar and Elena’s coffin, Nora and Mary Louise get to be bad cops enforcing Lily’s rules on the college campus where our vamps hide out these days. What this amounts to is a chance for the long-incarcerated and desiccated lesbians to act out the most teenage of romantic entanglements, only with the deadly power of witch Heretics. When the cute bartender finds Nora hotter and more hip than Mary Louise (both were born in the 19th century and are slowly adapting to the 21st one), it basically spells her doom, unless Stefan and Caroline can prevent it. Their attempts to babysit the dysfunctional couple are amusing, especially as Stefan does his believable confidant thing and both witches actually do look to Caroline for style and social advice (as who doesn’t?). It’s also the campus Heaven and Hell ball, which lets everyone dress up as angels or demons, the sluttier the better. But unfortunately for several coeds, the two chaperones pick this night to finally get their groove on, and it is as squicky as any of the dormitory sex scenes we’ve been witness to over the years could possibly be. Candace King is a very good actress, but I still can’t believe that Caroline has let Stefan out of the Friend Zone. And if that relationship doesn’t make sense, making even less sense is Bonnie helping Alaric to revive Jo (‘s sadly gray corpse) with the evil Phoenix Stone. It unleashed a monster in Oscar (who was pretty chill when they met him at first), and that’s what he wants for Josette? We also have another flash forward, where Damon tries to crash Alaric’s safe and normal home life, which in three years involves two cute daughters, but no clue who mommy might be. So far we’ve checked in with Stefan, Caroline, Taylor and Damon in future world; so does that mean it’s Bonnie or Matt who is trying to kill them all? Maybe calm down a little show and try not to be so complicated with all your time jump twistiness. If you want these Heretics to matter we’re going to have to get to know them, and this week brings us a little closer to Nora and Mary Louise, as last week did to Valerie. Lily is still a graceful enigma, and Enzo is still an annoying twerp, but why can’t Beau speak, for example? So far there’s a flurry of activity, but it’s not yet signifying very much. And, seriously, Matt is more tragic than ever this season. He was having more fun when Original Vampire Rebekah was into him and took him on a frolic to Europe for the summer. Being the only cop of a ghost town can’t be cool for a normal boy’s psyche. Especially if none of the idiotic tourists who keep presenting themselves as cannon fodder ever listen to him. The Vampire Diaries 7.04 “I Carry Your Heart With Me”Shawn's Rating3.0Overall ScoreReader Rating: (0 Votes)Share this:TweetShare on TumblrLike this:Like Loading... Related Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment.