• PDI Press

    PDI Press

    BETTY WHITE VS THE STUPID WORLD: The Movie

    PDI Press
    January 17, 2022 1

    Betty White Vs the Stupid World (Chapter Seven)

    PDI Press
    January 16, 2022

    Betty White Vs the Stupid World (Chapter Six)

    PDI Press
    January 15, 2022 3

    Featured

    BETTY WHITE VS THE STUPID WORLD: The Movie

    John E. Meredith
    PDI Press
    January 17, 2022 1
    • PDI Press Catalog
    • PDI Press Writers
      • Fiction
  • Columns A-D
    • A Fistful of Dollar Comics
    • ABCs of Horror
    • All Binge… No Purge
    • Anything Joes
    • Beautiful Creatures
    • Big Eyes Smart Mouth
    • Big Sleeps and Long Goodbyes
    • Cahiers du Horror
    • Dispatches From the Field
    • Drive-In Saturday
    • Dungeons & D-Listers
  • Columns F-P
    • The Final Girl
    • First Looks… Second Thoughts
    • The Flesh is Weak
    • Innocence and Experience
    • Lost in Translation
    • Marvel at the Movies
    • Muppets 101
    • Page to Screen
    • Popcorn Cinema
    • The Psycho Drive-In Podcast
    • Psycho Essentials: The ’80s!
  • Columns S-Z
    • Schlock & Awe
    • Shakespeare on Film
    • Shot for Shot
    • Sick Flix
    • Unnatural Selections
    • Versus
    • Video Word Made Flesh
    • We Got Lists
    • Women in Horror
    • The Xeno File
    • Zombies 101
  • Reviews

    Reviews

    Thunderbolts* (2025)

    Reviews
    May 3, 2025 42

    Regular Show: The Complete Series DVD Review

    Reviews
    February 9, 2025 70

    Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)

    Movies
    May 31, 2024 13

    Featured

    Thunderbolts* (2025)

    John E. Meredith
    Reviews
    May 3, 2025 42
    • Books
    • Comics
    • DVD/Blu-ray
    • Movies
    • TV
    • Series
  • Interviews

    Interviews

    Interview with Indie Horror Master, Chris Bickel

    Interviews
    July 13, 2018 397

    David Black: Carnies, Carnage, and the Creative Chaos of Darkness Visible

    Interviews
    March 7, 2017 223

    Jaiden Kaine joins the Marvel Universe as new Luke Cage baddie, Zip

    Interviews
    September 29, 2016 8

    SDCC 2016 Interviews: The Cast and Creators of Batman: The Killing Joke

    Interviews
    July 28, 2016 61

    SDCC 2016 Interviews: The Cast and Creators of Syfy’s Van Helsing

    Interviews
    July 27, 2016 3

    Wondercon Interview: The Cast of Damien

    Interviews
    April 16, 2016 3

    Featured

    Interview with Indie Horror Master, Chris Bickel

    The Final Girl
    Interviews
    July 13, 2018 397
  • News

    News

    Regular Show: The Complete Series DVD is here!

    News
    February 9, 2025 17

    “PATER NOSTER AND THE MISSION OF LIGHT” UNLEASHES TERRIFYING UNDERGROUND HORROR – A PSYCHEDELIC CULT MOVIE EXPERIENCE COMING SOON!

    News
    November 15, 2023 74

    Breaking Down The Upcoming DC Studios Slate

    Shot for Shot
    February 1, 2023

    Featured

    Regular Show: The Complete Series DVD is here!

    Paul Brian McCoy
    News
    February 9, 2025 17
    • Trailers
  • Psychos
  • Shop
Breaking
  • Thunderbolts* (2025)
  • Regular Show: The Complete Series DVD Review
  • Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)
  • The First Omen (2024)
  • RSS
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Who We Be
  • Contact
    Home
    Movies

    Polar (2019)

    Nate Zoebl
    Movies
    January 28, 2019 11

    Polar is such a thoroughly unpleasant film experience I was wondering if Lars von Trier had somehow made a comic book movie. I enjoy exploitation movies, I enjoy slick hitman spectacles, and I enjoy audaciously stylish indie films with their own lingering sense of cool, but Polar is gratuitous in every sense of the word and a chore to sit through.

    Duncan (Mads Mikkelsen) is the top assassin in an organization filled with colorful personalities with guns. The head of the agency, Blut (Matt Lucas), has a surefire plan to pay off his debts. Rather than pay the assassins their pensions once they hit the mandatory retirement age of 50, he’ll just kill them. Brilliant. Duncan sets off to enjoy his last few days before his big birthday by settling down in a sleepy small town, getting to know his meek neighbor, Camille (Vanessa Hudgens). This quiet new life is interrupted by a team of crazy killers determined to eliminate their colleague and collect his riches.

    The tonal disparity with Polar never settles down, which makes it hard to find any sense of a baseline of what is acceptable reality. What is normal here? The film veers from grotesque, brutish, gory violence to cartoonish, grating, juvenile slapstick. The violence is far too gross and brutal for the light tone it wishes to maintain. It’s the kind of violence where every gunshot necessitates a lurid explosion of blood, and why stop at one gunshot when a dozen will do? There’s an extended torture montage that lasts a total of four days when it could have just been a single session if the point is to kill the hero. It’s close-ups of skin peeling and being penetrated, and I’m not averse to gore effects and exploitation elements but when it’s paired with this flippant, nasty tone it cheapens the violence.

    This is a film that wallows in the grotesque, tittering to itself and trying so damn hard to be so provocative that it becomes exhausting. It’s jam-packed with style-for-style’s-sake choices that further call attention to its overall emptiness. I started counting the number of shots that existed simply to highlight a woman’s butt, and mostly that of Ruby O. Fee (The Invisibles). I swear her entire role seems to be butt-centric. Then there’s one shot composed entirely of butts shaking in Katheryn Winnick’s (Vikings) face. She’s having a phone call and her face is squeezed between two strippers shaking butts just because. It’s hilariously and transparently gratuitous. So many edits, shots, and even scenes exist just to call attention to its supposed sense of cool. However, cool movies, just like people, don’t have to convince you that they’re cool, they just are.

    Let’s take the evil assassins that chase after Duncan. They’re the kind of glib movie assassins that all seem defined by one or two quirks and costume styling guidelines. It’s a diverse group of ridiculous cartoon villains who seem reverse-engineered as toy figures. Why are they also working for an employer that plans on killing them all to escape paying them upon retirement? Why would you willfully work for someone who is so open about betraying you? It’s astoundingly shortsighted thinking. Regardless, other movies have utilized colorful criminals to better establish a sense of fun, particularly the early works of Guy Ritchie. These villains bounce from person-to-person tracking down their target, killing with callous indifference mixed with childish glee, but there’s no personality, no menace, so the bloodletting feels gratuitous and ugly.

    Scene after scene feels like the actors had large trunks of costumes and props and were told to dig around and grab anything they wanted before they began filming. It makes every one of their appearances feel annoying and trite, especially when one scene, again, exists simply to highlight Fee’s butt in jean shorts. The killers’ big plan is to shoot their target while receiving oral sex from Fee’s character. Then the others will bulrush and shoot some more. Or, and I’m not an expert here, they could simply break in while their target sleeps and shoot them in the back? This lame group of hired killers is the big threat… and then they’re taken out with half the movie left. They are removed with such haste that I was shocked. We had spent so much time with these antagonists and then they’re gone. It’s a fantastic waste of time for a group of characters that didn’t even merit one minute. There’s even one scene where Richard Dreyfuss (Jaws) shows up and is never seen again.

    The supreme villain is played by Matt Lucas (Doctor Who) and it just does not work. It’s like Toby Jones’ second cousin found the relics of Elton John’s closet and decided to try and play a Bond villain. I enjoy Lucas normally for his daft comedy roles and I think he’s trying to adopt a Goldfinger impersonation, but it does not work. Once again, it’s the entire tonal execution and narrative development at fault here. Blut is an officious dweeb prone to yelling at people and running away. He has no standout scene and poses no real threat once the hired guns and goons are taken care of. He cannot hold his own. This is why killing off the team of assassins with half the movie left relates to a dire misstep.

    The only thing that does work in this movie is Mikkelsen (Rogue One), who is doing everything in his power to provide an anchor for the pitiable audience. He is way too good for Polar. He takes everything one hundred percent seriously and is genuinely emoting while everyone else is chewing whatever scenery isn’t nailed down. It very much feels like Mikkelsen is in some other different movie, or is pretending to be in a different, better movie. His interactions with Hudgens are a high point, taking her under his wing and showing small glimpses of sympathy and guilt. Their ultimate relationship is predictable, and she disappointingly becomes trapped as a damsel in distress for the final act. Mikkelsen does have a terrific brawl in a hallway (the location of all film fights now it seems) that is well choreographed and very physical without feeling like he’s superhuman. I wish I were watching the better movie Mads Mikkelsen thought he was in.

    Everything about Polar feels unnecessary. The sex scenes are gratuitous, the violence is gratuitous, the style is gratuitous, and when everything feels tacked on for cheap thrills, the movie becomes hollow, calculated, and lazy. The suspense sequences should be exciting or an example of our protagonist’s expertise, but little feels clever. There are one or two moments, glimmers of what could have been had more attention been given to developing the sequences. As I was watching this two-hour cartoon, I was strongly reminded of the 1990s Tarantino knock-off, The Big Hit, which was an exaggerated cartoon of tiresome depravity. It tried so hard to evoke a carefree hipness when it came to its criminals, their depraved acts, their comedic interactions, the debauched humor, that it all felt like two hours of collective flop sweat. Polar is very much in that same description, a movie that is trying too hard to be a fun, breezy, exploitation movie. Except it feels adrift and phony and unpleasant. Polar doesn’t deserve Mads Mikkelsen and it doesn’t deserve a minute of your time, butts and all.

    Nate’s Grade: D+


    This review originally ran on Nate’s own review site Nathanzoebl. Check it out for hundreds of excellent reviews!

    (Visited 974 times, 1 visits today)

    Related

    Jonas ÅkerlundKatheryn WinnickMads MikkelsenMatt LucasNate ZoeblnetflixPolarRichard DreyfussRuby O. FeeVanessa Hudgens

    FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
    Previous Sick Flix: Audition (1999)
    Next Advance Review: Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)
    monsterid
    Nate Zoebl
    Nate Zoebl is an avid film lover since he was yea-high to whatever people are yea-high to. He's written film reviews since he was 17 years old and is a proud member of the Central Ohio Film Critics Association (COFCA). He is an active screenwriter, educator, filmmaker with the award-winning group Edwin J. Hill, one-time playwright ("Our Town... Attacked by Zombies"), lover of bad movies thanks to a childhood fed by the likes of MST3K, perhaps the world's foremost scholar on the movies of Dr. Uwe Boll, and sometimes collection of coherent molecules.

    Related Posts

    Lost in Translation 474: Terminator Zero (2024)

    Scott Delahunt
    Lost in Translation
    November 8, 2024

    Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)

    Nate Zoebl
    Movies
    May 31, 2024 13

    Daily Top Ten

    • ray and julieFeminist Guide to Survival: I Know What You Did Last Summer by The Final Girl
    • scary-stories-06Scary Stories: A Documentary (2019) by Paul Brian McCoy
    • anything-joes-NY-toy-fair-2025Anything Joes: S02E25 – New York Toy Fair 2025 by Greg Engle
    • walking-dead-611-03The Walking Dead 6.10 “The Next World”… by Paul Brian McCoy
    • i-spit-on-your-grave-09The Final Girl: I Spit on Your Grave (2010) by The Final Girl
    • luciferascastielSupernatural 11.10 & 11.11 by Laura Akers
    • legends star city 2046Legends of Tomorrow 1.06 “Star City 2046” by Dan Johnson
    • mingthemercilessFlash Gordon (1980) by Charles Webb
    • Wolves-MomoaWolves (2014) by Paul Brian McCoy
    • Arrow-314-headerArrow 3.14 “The Return” by Sean Reid
    400x400 GI Joe Funko Banner

    Weekly Top Ten

    • i-spit-on-your-grave-09The Final Girl: I Spit on Your Grave (2010) by The Final Girl
    • thunderbolts-headerThunderbolts* (2025) by John E. Meredith
    • AT606-visionAdventure Time 6.06 “Breezy” by Dave Hearn
    • babylon-5-blu-ray-04Babylon 5 Complete Series Blu-ray Review by Paul Brian McCoy
    • MacbethShakespeare’s Macbeth (2010) by Paul Brian McCoy
    • DS-headerDungeons & D-Listers: Deathstalker (1983) by Alex Wolfe
    • heavy-metal-2000-headerDrive-In Saturday: Heavy Metal 2000 (2000) by Alex Wolfe
    • salo-headerSick Flix: Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) by Corin Totin
    • patty-mullen-headerWomen in Horror: Patty Mullen by Fred L. Taulbee Jr.
    • hills-have-eyes-02The Hills Have Eyes (1977) vs The Hills Have Eyes (2006) by Corin Totin

    psychodrivein

    We came here to chew bubblegum and write intelligent reviews and commentary on cult TV and movies! And we're all out of bubblegum!

    Today at https://psychodrivein.com Anything Joes: Today at https://psychodrivein.com

Anything Joes: S02E28 - File Card Focus: Recoil

Greg and Jaren take a deep dive into the world of Recoil?
—
Watch the @AnythingJoesPod guys at the link in our profile!

#AnythingJoes #GIJoes #FileCardFocus #Recoil
    Today at https://psychodrivein.com Thunderbolts* Today at https://psychodrivein.com

Thunderbolts* (2025)

But damn, the Thunderbolts* really got to me.
—
Read more of John’s review at the link in our profile!

#Thunderbolts #MarvelStudios #Marvel #FlorencePugh #SebastianStan #DavidHarbour #HannahJohnKamen #JuliaLouisDreyfus #LewisPullman #OlgaKurylenko #WyattRussell
    Today at https://psychodrivein.com Lost in Transl Today at https://psychodrivein.com

Lost in Translation 481: Hypothetical Firefly Remake

Firefly is definitely a cult classic, with word of mouth spreading awareness of the series.
—
Read more of Scott’s article at the link in our profile!

#LostInTranslation #Serenity #Firefly
    Today at https://psychodrivein.com Lost in Transl Today at https://psychodrivein.com

Lost in Translation 480: The Naked Gun (2025) 

Right now, this is all speculation. The true test will come when The Naked Gun is released.
—
Read more of Scott’s article at the link in our profile!

#LostInTranslation #TheNakedGun #LiamNeeson
    Today at https://psychodrivein.com Anything Joes: Today at https://psychodrivein.com

Anything Joes: S02E27 - Battle Armor Cobra Commander 

Greg & Jaren take a look at the newest Classified reveals, and Jaren reveals his weird ways to make new friends. 
—
Watch the @AnythingJoesPod guys at the link in our profile!

#AnythingJoes #GIJoe #GIJoeClassified #CobraCommander #BattleArmorCobraCommander
    Today at https://psychodrivein.com EZMM 2025 Day Today at https://psychodrivein.com

EZMM 2025 Day 9: Evil Dead Rise (2023) 

Evil Dead Rise is filled with practical effects and whatever is supported with digital enhancement is so smooth I was never taken out of a scene.
—
Read more of Paul’s review at the link in our profile!

#EZMM #EZMM2025 #EasterZombieMovieMarathon #EasterZombieMovieMarathon2025 #EvilDeadRise #BruceCampbell #SamRaimi #Zombies101 #zombies #LeeCronin #LilySullivan #AlyssaSutherland #MorganDavies #NellFisher #GabrielleEchols #RobTapert
    Today at https://psychodrivein.com EZMM 2025 Day Today at https://psychodrivein.com

EZMM 2025 Day 8: Ash vs Evil Dead (2018) S03E06-E10

And while Episodes Six through Eight were an improvement, it really wasn’t until the two-part finale that Ash vs Evil Dead firmly regained its footing.
—
Read more of Paul’s article at the link in our profile!

#EZMM #EZMM2025 #EasterZombieMovieMarathon #EasterZombieMovieMarathon2025 #AshVsEvilDead #BruceCampbell #DanaDeLorenzo #RaySantiago #LucyLawless #SamRaimi #Zombies101 #zombies #ArielleCarverONeill #KatrinaHobbs #LindsayFarris
    Today at https://psychodrivein.com EZMM 2025 Day Today at https://psychodrivein.com

EZMM 2025 Day 7: Ash vs Evil Dead (2018) S03E01-E05

Season Three of Ash vs Evil Dead is off to a rough start.
—
Read more of Paul’s article at the link in our profile!

#EZMM #EZMM2025 #EasterZombieMovieMarathon #EasterZombieMovieMarathon2025 #AshVsEvilDead #BruceCampbell #DanaDeLorenzo #RaySantiago #LeeMajors #LucyLawless #SamRaimi #Zombies101 #zombies #ArielleCarverONeill #KatrinaHobbs #LindsayFarris
    Today at https://psychodrivein.com EZMM 2025 Day Today at https://psychodrivein.com

EZMM 2025 Day 6: Ash vs Evil Dead (2016) S02E06-E10

Overall, Season Two of Ash vs Evil Dead really did the job, upping the ante in just about every way from Season One.
—
Read more of Paul’s article at the link in our profile!

#EZMM #EZMM2025 #EasterZombieMovieMarathon #EasterZombieMovieMarathon2025 #AshVsEvilDead #BruceCampbell #DanaDeLorenzo #RaySantiago #LeeMajors #LucyLawless #SamRaimi #Zombies101 #zombies
    Follow on Instagram

    Look Who's Talking

    Shawn EH
    Shawn EH - 5/4/2025
    Thunderbolts* (2025)
    Yep, very well done; avoiding the big flashy battle that these heroes (can any of you fly?)...
    Ideonova
    Ideonova - 12/26/2024
    Page to Screen: F. Paul Wilson’s The Keep
    Not living up to the source material? What source material? The book is a predictable, at times...
    Fred L. Taulbee Jr.
    Fred L. Taulbee Jr. - 8/17/2024
    Cahiers du Horror 03: Frank Henenlotter and The Brain that Wouldn’t Die
    I need to see that again. Maybe make it a double feature with All of Me. Steve Martin is someone you...
    RSSTwitterFacebookinstagramtumblr

    Archives

    Large_rectangle_336X280
    • PDI Press
      • PDI Press Catalog
      • PDI Press Writers
        • Fiction
    • Columns A-D
      • A Fistful of Dollar Comics
      • ABCs of Horror
      • All Binge… No Purge
      • Anything Joes
      • Beautiful Creatures
      • Big Eyes Smart Mouth
      • Big Sleeps and Long Goodbyes
      • Cahiers du Horror
      • Dispatches From the Field
      • Drive-In Saturday
      • Dungeons & D-Listers
    • Columns F-P
      • The Final Girl
      • First Looks… Second Thoughts
      • The Flesh is Weak
      • Innocence and Experience
      • Lost in Translation
      • Marvel at the Movies
      • Muppets 101
      • Page to Screen
      • Popcorn Cinema
      • The Psycho Drive-In Podcast
      • Psycho Essentials: The ’80s!
    • Columns S-Z
      • Schlock & Awe
      • Shakespeare on Film
      • Shot for Shot
      • Sick Flix
      • Unnatural Selections
      • Versus
      • Video Word Made Flesh
      • We Got Lists
      • Women in Horror
      • The Xeno File
      • Zombies 101
    • Reviews
      • Books
      • Comics
      • DVD/Blu-ray
      • Movies
      • TV
      • Series
    • Interviews
    • News
      • Trailers
    • Psychos
    • Shop
    • PDI Press
      • PDI Press Catalog
      • PDI Press Writers
        • Fiction
    • Columns A-D
      • A Fistful of Dollar Comics
      • ABCs of Horror
      • All Binge… No Purge
      • Anything Joes
      • Beautiful Creatures
      • Big Eyes Smart Mouth
      • Big Sleeps and Long Goodbyes
      • Cahiers du Horror
      • Dispatches From the Field
      • Drive-In Saturday
      • Dungeons & D-Listers
    • Columns F-P
      • The Final Girl
      • First Looks… Second Thoughts
      • The Flesh is Weak
      • Innocence and Experience
      • Lost in Translation
      • Marvel at the Movies
      • Muppets 101
      • Page to Screen
      • Popcorn Cinema
      • The Psycho Drive-In Podcast
      • Psycho Essentials: The ’80s!
    • Columns S-Z
      • Schlock & Awe
      • Shakespeare on Film
      • Shot for Shot
      • Sick Flix
      • Unnatural Selections
      • Versus
      • Video Word Made Flesh
      • We Got Lists
      • Women in Horror
      • The Xeno File
      • Zombies 101
    • Reviews
      • Books
      • Comics
      • DVD/Blu-ray
      • Movies
      • TV
      • Series
    • Interviews
    • News
      • Trailers
    • Psychos
    • Shop
    Type to search or hit ESC to close
    See all results
    Username
    Password
    Remember Me
    Lost password?
    Create an account
    Username
    Email
    Cancel
    Enter username or email
    Cancel