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    The Strain 1.03 “Gone Smooth”

    Paul Brian McCoy
    ReviewsTV
    August 3, 2014 38

    The following review is rated TV MA. It contains strong language, violence, and dicks falling off. Reader discretion is advised.

    The Strain continues to keep things moving toward the impending vampire-holocaust with just the right touch of horror, heart, and gross-outs. With an opening scene of Eichorst (Richard Sammel) going through his daily ritual of make-up, prosthetics, and wig appliance, the audience gets its first unhampered look at the creatures that are soon to be popping up everywhere, while also providing a humorous meta-commentary on the level of make-up effects that are going to become more and more intensive as the show goes on.

    Strain103-nose

    I like how this week, the douchey CDC director Dr. Everett Barnes (Daniel Kash) moves slightly into the more likeable column by acknowledging that mistakes have been made and that the government is too incompetent to have been behind the disappearance and pawns off the blame on the military while maintaining a “cover our own asses” approach with the CDC. When Setrakian (David Bradley) later says that the Master relies on “human self-interest and bureaucratic complacency,” this is exactly what he was talking about.

    Bravo Chuck Hogan for crafting a teleplay this week that is miles beyond what he and del Toro did for the pilot.

    Strain103-abe

    Not only is there foreshadowing and fleshing out of characters, there’s also a nice bit of humanizing being done for Eph’s ex-wife Kelly (Natalie Brown) and a heartbreaking bit of self-sacrifice from his son Zach (Ben Hyland). It’s painful to watch the entire family suffering through this, but it really does a good job of setting the stage for what’s to come. If the emotional core of these relationships isn’t solid, it will be hard to really make the story work once things get dark, so I’m happy with what we’re getting here. Brown and Hyland are doing very strong work.

    And they’re not the only ones. The entire cast is actually nailing just about every mark. Eph (Corey Stoll) doesn’t do a whole lot this week, but Corey Stoll still gets top marks for making him a believably selfish dick with a heart of gold. Sean Astin‘s Jim is in a tight spot and doesn’t have the intestinal fortitude to put up with it for very long, despite the benefit he’s providing his wife. (Melanie Merkosky). Mía Maestro‘s Dr. Martinez isn’t being given a lot to do, but her character’s instincts are beginning to take hold and move her in the right direction. Bradley is making Setrakian more bad-ass with each episode and I can’t wait for him to cut loose with the vampire-killing.

    Strain103-fet

    And the same goes for Vasiliy Fet. Kevin Durand is making Fet both sexy and human, not afraid to say what’s on his mind and not above stealing a cigar from a rich prick. The vampire hunting can’t get here fast enough.

    This week we also only touch base with three of our four survivors — lawyer Joan Luss is missing this time around — but we get some good progression for each of them. Nikolai Witschl, who’s Ansel Barbour was missing last episode, gets a lot of screen time this week as he deals with sickness, anxiety, the press, and a wife (Alex Paxton-Beesley) who is a little on edge. Our heroic pilot with a conscience, Captain Redfern finally crosses over to the vampire side and Jonathan Potts does a great job working the make-up and turning what was an extremely sympathetic character into a nightmare-inducing machine. I’m pretty sure after what happens in the basement of the hospital, our gang will be looking up Abe and be ready to listen this time.

    Strain103-pilot

    But best of all is the transformation of Gabriel Bolivar (Jack Kesy) from Rock God to Creepy Monster. After frightening his doctor with a look at his disease-riddled cock, Bolivar discovers just before his big concert that he doesn’t need his makeup to look monstrous. His eyes are bloody, his hair is falling out, and his skin a more frightening pallor without his makeup than with it. And then, after some painful urination, his DICK FALLS OFF.

    As he was peeing, Dr. Girlfriend turned to me and said, “Wouldn’t it be funny if there was just a ‘plop’ and his dick fell off?” We chuckled, and then it actually happened. Then we laughed. It was comical the way it was shot, but still had a nice, disturbing aspect to it. Especially when he turns to face the camera and we get a full-frontal shot of his Barbie Doll Crotch and discover the true meaning of the episode’s title, “Gone Smooth.”

    Strain103-smooth

    Any Mighty Boosh fans can be rest assured, the phrase “smooth as the bonnet of a Porsche” was bandied around my house for the next few days. Who knew Naboo was a vampire?

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    Ben HylandChuck HoganCorey StollDaniel KashDavid BradleyGuillermo del ToroJack KesyJonathan PottsKevin DurandMelanie MerkoskyMia MaestroNatalie BrownNikolai WitschiPaul Brian McCoyRichard SammelSean AstinThe Strain

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    Paul Brian McCoy
    Co-Founder / Editor-in-Chief / Dreamweaver
    Paul Brian McCoy is the Editor-in-Chief of Psycho Drive-In. His first novel, The Unraveling: Damaged Inc. Book One is available at Amazon US & UK, along with his collection of short stories, Coffee, Sex, & Creation (US & UK). He recently contributed the 1989 chapter to The American Comic Book Chronicles: The 1980s (US & UK). He also kicked off Comics Bulletin Books with Mondo Marvel Volumes One (US & UK) and Two (US & UK) and PDI Press with Marvel at the Movies: 1977-1998 (US & UK), Marvel at the Movies: Marvel Studios (US & UK), and Spoiler Warning: Hannibal Season 1 - An Unauthorized Critical Guide (US & UK). Paul is also unnaturally preoccupied with zombie films and sci-fi television. He can be found babbling on Twitter at @PBMcCoy.

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    We came here to chew bubblegum and write intelligent reviews and commentary on cult TV and movies! And we're all out of bubblegum!

    Happy Birthday to British actress of numerous horr Happy Birthday to British actress of numerous horror and sci-fi films, Caroline Munro (January 17, 1949).
    Today at https://psychodrivein.com The Psycho Dri Today at https://psychodrivein.com

The Psycho Drive-In Podcast 18: Our Favorite Movies and TV of 2025

Paul and John kick off 2026 by tearing into the weird, violent, and brilliant films and television of 2025. 
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Anything Joes: S03E05 - Retro Toy Con / Con Pickups 

Greg and Joel discuss Retro Toy Con, recent pickups, and much more! 
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The Psycho Drive-In Podcast 17: Scary Christmas! Rare Exports & Anna and the Apocalypse 

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    The Psycho Drive-In Podcast 12: One Battle After Another (2025) & Alien: Earth S1E04-08 Reviews
    Legion was really good. I remember each season being psychotically different too.
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    Very spirited defense of AE, Paul. But I believe your timeline.
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