Unnatural Selections: 3-Headed Shark Attack (2015)

Sequels can be hard to do and just as often as not they are pointless. Usually more often than not. And while the cash-in sequel is pretty common the cash-in shark sequel is a rare creature indeed. I’m not sure this has even been done since the Shark Attack movies. Technically Sharknado did a sequel before this but I mean non-recent movies. But here’s the difference; Sharknado 2 is definitely a sequel, while 3-Headed Shark Attack is kind of a standalone. You do not have to watch the first one to enjoy this as the first movie is never even referenced.

The plot starts with party people on a beach being eaten. This feels like it a jab at the first movie and also gets us right into the shark. And again I love how they get straight to the point. They know what we are here for and they are eager to deliver. The shark attacks an underwater research facility that gave me Jaws 3 flashbacks before becoming about people on a boat trying to survive. You know this plot already.

The characters aren’t boring but most of them are shark buffet so let’s just ring off the greatest hits. There’s Maggie (Karrueche Tran) as the main and least interesting character. Stanly played by Rob Van Dam who is not a strong actor but he has an earnestness that I found charming, and Danny Trejo as… Danny Trejo. He has a name but when you talk about this movie you’re just gonna call him Danny Trejo.

This movie surprised me honestly. It is a rare thing for a sequel to be good. Rarer still for a sequel to surpass the original. Don’t get me wrong, I gave good props to Two Headed Shark Attack, just this one had more effort. And a better budget certainly helped things. I can’t remember all the character’s names but I could tell them apart and I actually wanted some of them to live. Again, Rob Van Dam is not amazing but he seemed like such a nice guy. Even though he came literally out of nowhere. He didn’t look like he was on the boat for the party or as an employee, but if you can buy a giant mutant shark, you can buy Rob being on that party boat. Danny Trejo phoned it in. Not saying I blame him, just calling it what it is.

The shark was awesome looking. Yes, it defies physics at times. Yes, it growls under water. None of that matters really. What matters is this thing looked better than the original, not just in design but in how it moves. The heads are very animated, snapping at each other as it swims. The tail movement also looked real to me, actually bending and moving instead of stiffly wagging from aide to side like some movies do.

Now I do have a few complaints to air. There is this weird plot point about the shark being attracted to pollution. This irks me because the shark left a floating island of garbage and goes way out of its way to snack on tasty humans. The other issue I have is the ending. It is a creative ending but not a smart ending. Especially not given that the shark has regenerative powers. Yeah that also a plot point. Not going to spoil the end. Just saying it’s a dumb end.

Overall these complaints are very small and don’t detract from the movie in a meaningful way. This is a fun movie that delivers on the bite, has likeable characters and somehow escalated the madness of the first movie while being a perfectly serviceable standalone film. This is a must watch for any fan of shark insanity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK4TKbwJjRI

See larger image 3-Headed Shark Attack The world s greatest killing machine is three times as deadly when a mutated shark threatens a cruise ship. As the shark eats its way from one end of the ship to the next, the passengers quickly discover that three heads are much more difficult to kill than just one. New From: $5.82 USD In Stock