Ugh. No. I know we’re running out of time, and this show is known for swift plot changes and lightning fast reversals when it’s really got a plan in mind, but Stefan can literally not go from mourning the death of his last living relative (RIP, Sarah Salvatore, you were mostly only ever a plot device, despite your photographic talents), to proposing to Caroline as he walks from one room to the next in his gloomy mansion. It wasn’t even portrayed as just a lame attempt at cheering him up, it happened without transition and thus made no sense.
Even less sense than their pairing, as these two (fine actors on their own) have never had an ounce of chemistry and never will. They were good friends, but passionate lovers they are not. I’d prefer her with Klaus than this, and he probably should just have some alone time for a few centuries. It’s a relationship that is impossible to root for.
The rest of the episode was slightly better, because it focused on the one romantic bright spot of recent seasons, the surprisingly hot love affair between Bonnie and Enzo. His character is finally in focus, and she’s ready to be the badass she has always promised to be (except for a sadly inconvenient lack of magical abilities right when she needs them the most). He’s very entertaining leaving her clues and fighting against Sybil the Siren’s control (when I say it like that, it makes me see her in a plushy green sea monster outfit, which is more fun than how she actually looks, which is like a pouty soap star) in order to save the people he loves from her clutches. Enzo’s tale of always loving unwisely and unrequitedly finally made sense when he earned Bonnie’s love at last (even though most of it happened off camera in one episode), and he’s become the hero he was always meant to be.
If only his partner in crime wasn’t Damon, who is as always thinking mostly for himself. They’re precious little help to each other in fighting Sybil, which is too bad, because she’s super-creepy. Lucky Alaric and his comic relief intern seem to be inadvertently dismantling some of her mysteries back at the Armory that held her prisoner. I just hope when they do it isn’t as clunky and uneven as this episode which makes all the mistakes the debut avoided.
I guess I could blame Sarah herself for her demise (at least at the hands of Sybil and not one of her “uncles,” which is better for them than they deserve), because when vampires showed up at her doorstep again she really shouldn’t have stopped to pack and go back for her camera gear, too. She needed to go all Jason Bourne in stealth mode, but instead she’s been naively refusing the Salvatore money and living like an actual poor student, with few resources. Unwise.
Next week may already be the Stefan/Caroline wedding, which makes no sense given how badly everything is going on all sides (and is tempting fate considering the last big wedding was the slaughterhouse finale of season 6), but at least it looks like it’s going to be played for laughs due to Caroline’s automatic bridezilla tendencies. Let’s not place bets on whether the show will find a tone that works for this final season on try number three.