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    The Vampire Dairies 8.15 “We’re Planning a June Wedding”

    Shawn Hill
    TV
    March 10, 2017 24

    In a surprise move, the wedding no one was waiting for goes off without a hitch, and is a beautiful affair. No bride can be more ethereal and lovely than Caroline, even if she were alive, and she’s a vision following her daughters down the aisle. Those little heretic angels are the most enthusiastic fans of the wedding by far, and they bring Bonnie along in their wake. Bonnie told Caroline earlier she wished her the best but couldn’t face watching her best friend marry the man who killed Enzo (which was imminently reasonable), and Caroline understood but being Caroline, was still depressed and lonely.

    vampire-diaries-815-bride-wore-white

    But Enzo intervened to encourage Bonnie to forget and forgive, and it’s a nice moment. The wedding is an outdoor gazebo of ribbons near the Lockwood mansion, and with Damon inexplicably officiating, it’s a nice mix of impromptu and sentimental gestures. Alaric allows the girls to come, but can’t come himself, showing a last minute jealousy at Caroline’s love for Stefan. Too little too late, Alaric, you should have made your move before the penultimate episode, dude!

    The show teases Elena’s early return (or at least Katherine’s, as there is a curly haired vixen wandering around in the shadows killing people). But it turns out we’ll have to wait one more week for that, because instead it’s two Donovan family surrogates, Matt’s mom Kelly (bad girl past still very much intact, heartbeat not so much) and his sister Vicky (long dead from vampirism). That both are dead is more tragedy for Matt, and when Kelly almost kills his dad (these zombies crave blood) things get even worse. Seems they are Katherine’s minions, sent from hell to sow discord in advance of her full return.

    The-Vampire-Diaries-Season-8-Episode-kelly-returns

    In fact, the wedding itself was one big ruse to lure her into open attack, which no one expected to proceed uninterrupted. But it did, Steroline are eternally joined (or at least until human Stefan dies of natural causes and Caroline goes to find Klaus), and we’ll all have to accept that. The explosions start after the ceremony, literally, as it looks like Bonnie and the twins die in a gas tank explosion Kelly had planted in the house.

    Except they don’t, because those little heretics are determined to survive all attacks sent their way. They’re the cockroaches of the magical world, clearly. By siphoning Bonnie’s power, they’ve somehow erected a force field around the three of them, but they don’t know what to do with it. Bonnie is still convinced she’s without her magic, until Enzo’s ghost reminds her that the little girls are siphoning something, and she’s also been holding him in her pocket dimension she conjured out of her distress.

    the-vampire-diaries-8x15-steroline-nuptials

    If there’s one spell Bonnie knows about, it’s what to do with fire. So she directs the girls to contain the flame, and in a cool effect they absorb it all from the burning mansion and send it back to the fireplace from which it came, and up the chimney into the sky.

    It’s gonna take more than that to take out Bon-bon, Katherine, but then you know that. She was never your target, just collateral damage. We’ll have to wait till next week to find out just who is, and in what order. This week she wants the bone dagger they made out of her remains (very macabre scene where the brothers who loved her toast her dry bones), and she wants Vicky to start ringing that Maxwell bell, which I thought was hidden in Rochester or somewhere but seems to be back in the town tower all over again. Damn demons!

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    Shawn Hill
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    Shawn Hill knows two things: comics and art history. Somehow that led to him writing the Harvey Kurtzman entry for Icons of the American Comic Book: from Captain America to Wonder Woman (2013). He also writes art criticism and is a member of the International Association of Art Critics (AICA), an NGO of UNESCO.

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The Psycho Drive-In Podcast 22: Easter Zombie Movie Marathon (Vodka & Oxy Special)
 
Hosts Paul McCoy and John Meredith record an Easter zombie movie marathon special while drinking and medicated!
—
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EZMM 2026 Day 9: We Bury the Dead (2026)
 
We Bury the Dead is well-made with nice performances and a strong emotional core but is kind of slow and forgettable.
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EZMM 2026 Day 8.2: 28 Years Later – The Bone Temple (2026)
 
Nia DaCosta turns 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple up to eleven.
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EZMM 2026 Day 8.1: 28 Years Later (2025)
 
I cannot recommend 28 Years Later any higher.
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EZMM 2026 Day 7.2: Ziam (2025)
 
A lot of the reviews for Ziam knock it for not bringing anything new to the party beyond the kickboxing, but dammit, gang, the kickboxing is awesome.
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EZMM 2026 Day 7.1: The Elixir (2025)
 
The Elixir isn’t breaking any new ground, but with all that Netflix money being thrown at them, what we get is an exciting, visceral, extremely gory zombie film that holds up to scrutiny.
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EZMM 2026 Day 6.1: Beyond the Wasteland (a.k.a. M) (2023)
 
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