Do holidays make your butt hurt? The debate about “Merry Christmas” versus “Happy Holidays” make you wanna shove candy canes deep into your own ears? The sound of those opening notes to the same old Christmas songs invokes an unholy fire that threatens to break loose and engulf everything contained in the month of December? Then VIOLENT NIGHT might be for you.

No, it’s not the instant Christmas classic some folks are saying. Matter of fact, for me it could have been a much better movie if it was either more serious or way, way more over the top. There are some decent moments here, mostly from David Harbour as an inexplicably supernatural Santa, but it’s passable entertainment at best.

But it’s very timely passable entertainment. It’s the kind of entertainment you’re gonna enjoy if Mariah Carey just called the goddamn dolphins for Christmas dinner one more time. If you’re not sure you can make it through such a dinner of your own, you might wanna get this flick in your system now.

It’s chock full of ridiculous violence, befitting its title. Explosions. Beheadings. A sledgehammer named Skullcrusher crushing some skulls. Someone gets a sharpened candy cane right to the eye. When Uncle Ted starts going on about politics, or Aunt Marge gets in your face with her drunken fruitcake breath, these are the kinda images you’re gonna want in your head.

Nope, it’s not breaking any new ground. Not even the twentieth best Christmas horror movie I can think of right now. But it’s a worthy watch with a bucket of corn in a dimly lit theater. And it might even save someone’s life later on.

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