Since the entirety of October is officially Halloween this year (shut up, you!), we at Psycho Drive-In have decided to attempt to fill the month with thirty-one recommendations for horror-related movies, comics, books, TV shows, toys, games, and everything in-between. It’s gonna be a grab-bag of goodies we feel you should be exposed to, whether you like it or not! But don’t expect your standard suggestions for Halloween fun, we’re digging into some stuff that we love in the hopes that you might make this October a little bit weirder than usual. Weirder in a good way. Not like what’s going on outside in the hellscape of 2020. The late, great John Zacherle, sometimes spelled Zacherley, also known as Roland or the Cool Ghoul, remains in a dead heat with a number of others as the best television horror movie host of all time with his show Shock Theater. Where he really sets himself apart is his horror music, best heard all year around but great to break up the traditional monotony of the basic Halloween songs that we hear every year. There is nothing I like more, however, than his lyrics. There is nothing more monotonous and boring than predicting the rhyme of the next line to a song, and there is nothing more exciting — granted, for some of us weird people — than a completely original rhyme. On one hand, love seems to always fit like a glove, and on the other hand — disembodied and crawling around — is Zacherle singing the lyrics to “Dinner with Drac”: “The waitress, a vampire named Perkins Was so very fond of small gherkins While serving tea She ate forty-three Which pickled her internal workin’s” And “For dessert there was batwing confetti And the veins of a mummy named Betty I first frowned upon it But with ketchup on it It tasted very much like spaghetti” But his coup de grace and original ryhme overload is “The Coolest Little Monster” with the first verse as follows: “I’ll send a small box Of small pox A large tub Of hub bub Your own nooseFor home useA crate fullOf hateful ’Cause you’re the coolest little monsterThat ever put the spook on me” And the second verse, “I’ll send a lipstick Of arsenic One urn Of sunburn Six cups Of hiccups A bin full Of sinful ’Cause you’re the coolest little monster That ever put the spook on me” and the third, “Eight pails Of hangnails Some pass cards For graveyards A werewolf That’s your wolf Some batwings For earrings” Jon Sheldon and Harry Land are the credited songwriters for “My Dinner with Drac” and Lee Pockriss and Stanley Rhodes for “Coolest Little Monster.” It’s unclear if they or Zacherle actually wrote the lyrics, but regardless, he chose them, and it seems like fun rhymes like these were a catchy schtick he enjoyed along with the rest of his masterful routine. (Visited 66 times, 1 visits today) Related