Danny Djeljosevic">
Psycho Drive-In logo
Search
  • PDI Press
    Featured
    • ON SALE NOW! NOIRLATHOTEP 2: MORE TALES OF LOVECRAFTIAN CRIME!!

      Danny Djeljosevic
      December 31, 2018
      News, PDI Press, PDI Press Catalog
    Recent
    • ON SALE NOW! NOIRLATHOTEP 2: MORE TALES OF LOVECRAFTIAN CRIME!!

      psychodr
      December 31, 2018
    • VOICES FROM THE NIGHT: The Living Dead Tell Their Stories

      John E. Meredith
      October 31, 2018
    • American Carnage: Tales of Trumpian Dystopia

      psychodr
      March 24, 2018
    • PDI Press Catalog
    • PDI Press Writers
      • Fiction
  • Columns A-D
    • A Fistful of Dollar Comics
    • ABCs of Horror
    • All Binge… No Purge
    • Anything Joes
    • Beautiful Creatures
    • Big Eyes Smart Mouth
    • Big Sleeps and Long Goodbyes
    • Cahiers du Horror
    • Dispatches From the Field
    • Drive-In Saturday
    • Dungeons & D-Listers
  • Columns F-S
    • The Final Girl
    • First Looks… Second Thoughts
    • The Flesh is Weak
    • Innocence and Experience
    • Lost in Translation
    • Popcorn Cinema
    • Psycho Essentials: The ’80s!
    • Schlock & Awe
    • Shakespeare on Film
    • Shot for Shot
    • Sick Flix
  • Columns U-Z
    • Unnatural Selections
    • Versus
    • Video Word Made Flesh
    • We Got Lists
    • Women in Horror
    • The Xeno File
    • Zombies 101
  • Reviews
    Featured
    • Promising Young Woman (2020)

      Danny Djeljosevic
      January 1, 2021
      Movies, Reviews
    Recent
    • Promising Young Woman (2020)

      Nate Zoebl
      January 1, 2021
    • Possessor: Uncut (2020)

      Paul Brian McCoy
      December 31, 2020
    • Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

      Nate Zoebl
      December 24, 2020
    • Books
    • DVD/Blu-ray
    • Movies
    • TV
    • Series
  • Interviews
    Featured
    • Interview with Indie Horror Master, Chris Bickel

      Danny Djeljosevic
      July 13, 2018
      Interviews
    Recent
    • Interview with Indie Horror Master, Chris Bickel

      Dory Hoffman
      July 13, 2018
    • David Black: Carnies, Carnage, and the Creative Chaos of Darkness Visible

      Dan Lee
      March 7, 2017
    • Jaiden Kaine joins the Marvel Universe as new Luke Cage baddie, Zip

      Andre Lamar
      September 29, 2016
    • SDCC 2016 Interviews: The Cast and Creators of Batman: The Killing Joke

      Jason Sacks
      July 28, 2016
    • SDCC 2016 Interviews: The Cast and Creators of Syfy’s Van Helsing

      Dave Hearn, Paul Brian McCoy
      July 27, 2016
    • Wondercon Interview: The Cast of Damien

      Gary Richardson, Laura Akers
      April 16, 2016
  • News
    Featured
    • John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum arrives on Digital 8/23 and 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray, DVD and On Demand 9/10

      Danny Djeljosevic
      July 30, 2019
      DVD/Blu-ray, News
    Recent
    • John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum arrives on Digital 8/23 and 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray, DVD and On Demand 9/10

      psychodr
      July 30, 2019
    • X-Men: Dark Phoenix arrives on Digital 9/3 and 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray and DVD 9/17

      Paul Brian McCoy
      July 16, 2019
    • Avengers: Endgame arrives on Digital 7/30 and Blu-ray 8/13

      psychodr
      July 16, 2019
    • Trailers
  • Psychos
  • Merchandise
Breaking
  • Promising Young Woman (2020)
  • Possessor: Uncut (2020)
  • Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
  • Tenet (2020)
  • I’m Your Woman (2020)
  • Westworld Season 3: The New World Blu-ray
  • RSS
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Who We Be
  • Contact
  • PDI Press
    • PDI Press Catalog
    • PDI Press Writers
      • Fiction
  • Columns A-D
    • A Fistful of Dollar Comics
    • ABCs of Horror
    • All Binge… No Purge
    • Anything Joes
    • Beautiful Creatures
    • Big Eyes Smart Mouth
    • Big Sleeps and Long Goodbyes
    • Cahiers du Horror
    • Dispatches From the Field
    • Drive-In Saturday
    • Dungeons & D-Listers
  • Columns F-S
    • The Final Girl
    • First Looks… Second Thoughts
    • The Flesh is Weak
    • Innocence and Experience
    • Lost in Translation
    • Popcorn Cinema
    • Psycho Essentials: The ’80s!
    • Schlock & Awe
    • Shakespeare on Film
    • Shot for Shot
    • Sick Flix
  • Columns U-Z
    • Unnatural Selections
    • Versus
    • Video Word Made Flesh
    • We Got Lists
    • Women in Horror
    • The Xeno File
    • Zombies 101
  • Reviews
    • Books
    • DVD/Blu-ray
    • Movies
    • TV
    • Series
  • Interviews
  • News
    • Trailers
  • Psychos
  • Merchandise
Home
DVD/Blu-ray

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter DVD Review

Danny Djeljosevic
October 23, 2012
DVD/Blu-ray, Movies, Reviews

So it’s come to this: I’ve sat through a film called Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. By choice.

Granted, I was kind of looking forward to it because I think director Timur Bekmambetov is a Kazakh lunatic who makes really energetic movies like Night Watch and Wanted that I refuse to devote brainpower to think about. It’d be wrong to think, as Bekmambetov doesn’t make movies with his brain; he makes them with his dick and his dick wants punching and bullets going in directions that bullets don’t normally go and usually something involving trains.

ABEaxe1

Bekmambetov leaves the thinking to screenwriter Seth Grahame-Smith, who adapts his own 2010 novel in which a pre-stovepipe-hat Abraham Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) seeks revenge against the strangely unaging man who killed his mother. After a botched attempt during which he finds out that his mother’s killer is a vampire, he winds up under the training of Henry Sturges, a vampire hunter who tasks the young, axe-wielding Lincoln with a list of bloodsuckers to kill in Springfield, Illinois.

ABEabe2

Hilariously enough, if you ignore any part that even remotely involves vampires, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is actually fairly faithful to Lincoln’s own biography. Once he arrives in Springfield, the proceedings will actually be quite familiar if you’ve read The Hypo, complete with Lincoln rooming with general store owner Joshua Speed (Jimmi Simpson) and courting young Mary Todd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead).

ABEmhe

Winstead takes her role as seriously as if she were in Spielberg’s Lincoln, which is emblematic of the overall character of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter — it’s a film that’s completely unaware that its central concept is a joke. Many have balked at the idea of making an earnest film in which the 16th President of the United States kills vampires but let me offer this to the naysayers: Snakes on a Plane decided it wanted to be in on the joke, and who has mentioned that movie since 2006, much less watched it?

ABEaxe2

Benjamin Walker as Lincoln proves the film’s biggest surprise. Obviously it’s a tough concept to take seriously, but Walker — most famous for playing Andrew Jackson on stage — gives a strong performance as Abraham Lincoln, both the President and the vengeful young man who wants to kill some bloodsuckers. It speaks to wise casting decisions, hiring principal actors that at least create the illusion of taking the role seriously. It may seem ridiculous, but if we don’t believe that’s Abraham Lincoln slaying the undead, then the film doesn’t even work on its most basic level.

ABEabe1

Seth Grahame-Smith’s script takes the concept seriously — almost to a fault. Most of the vampire fighting involves young Lincoln, not the iconic one with the big hat and whiskers even though the title likely evokes the image of the latter. Later, Lincoln becomes President and the Civil War rages on and, while the South is bolstered by vampire forces*, Lincoln doesn’t take up his axe again in favor of war room handwringing — that is, until it’s time for a final action set piece which, you guessed it, takes place on a train.

Grahame-Smith is dead set on trying to script an honest-to-god movie about Abraham Lincoln and vampire fighting, but unfortunately, either he has no handle on cinematic drama or Bekmambetov has no interest in conveying any such drama. It’s hard to tell who to blame, but revelations like Nancy Lincoln’s death and Strurges being a vampire all along simply happen, rarely registering as a surprise. Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad become a plot point but carry as much weight as a scene of Lincoln crossing the street. It is a story in the sense that things happen in a logical, chronological order, but without all the baggage of having to react to very much of it

ABEcivilwar

At least it’s clear where Bekmambetov’s interests lie — kooky action scenes — and in the process  of making Abe Lincoln fight with an axe and his bare mitts film manages to attain the punch-drunk lunacy that Stephen Sommers strived for in Van Helsing. A chase scene between Lincoln and Adam (the dull main antagonist**) involves a herd of stampeding horses and climaxes with the villain throwing a goddamn horse at Abraham Lincoln.

A showdown in a New Orleans plantation involves Lincoln’s best black friend William Johnson*** (Anthony Mackie) doing a kung fu flip to get out of danger and his best white friend Speed bursting through the walls of the plantation on horse-drawn getaway carriage. These moments are the punchlines set-up by all those seemingly sincere attempted biopic sequences, and they totally pay off.

And, I gotta say, that aforementioned train set piece is actually legitimately exciting, with flames causing tracks to fall into oblivious and our heroes jumping from car to car for dear life. If there’s anybody who can get a ton of mileage out of obvious CGI trains, it’s Timur Bekmambetov. It’s almost an auteur-y preoccupation with this guy, like Wes Anderson’s dysfunctional families or Quentin Tarantino’s foot fetish.

ABEtrain

I thought Battleship was a bit of an oddball blockbuster, but Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter has it beat for 2012’s weirdest movie that we ignored in favor of The Avengers. It’s also at least objectively better than the naval board game movie — it’s hard to be mad at a movie that at least seems to be trying and not an entirely cynical grab at licensing opportunities, but rather a movie based on somebody’s cynical grab at the literary mashup genre.

Ultimately, I don’t think it’s a particularly great movie, but I admire that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is earnestly trying to be a serious action flick — an action movie so earnest that it ends with a Linkin Park song.

 

*hahahahahhaahahaha

**How dull? So dull he’s played by Rufus Sewell.

***Who was also a real person, Jesus Christ I can’t stop laughing.

THE PACKAGE

The Blu-Ray + DVD + Digital Copy combo pack has an original graphic novel, “making of” featurettes about production, fight choreography and makeup, audio commentary by Seth Grahame-Smith, and a Linkin Park music video. All of this is only on the Blu-Ray edition, and I plan on thanking every god in sight that I only own a DVD player.

(Visited 123 times, 1 visits today)
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter DVD Review
2.5Overall Score

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Related

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire HunterAnthony MackieBenjamin WalkerDanny DjeljosevicTimur Bekmambetov

The Walking Dead 3.02 “Sick”
Top Ten Horror Films 1990s

About The Author

Danny Djeljosevic
Creative Dynamo / Tightrope Walker

Danny Djeljosevic is a comic book creator, award-winning filmmaker (assuming you have absolutely no follow-up questions). Follow him on Twitter at @djeljosevic or find him somewhere in San Diego, often wearing a hat. Read his comic with Mike Prezzato, ”Sgt. Death and his Metachromatic Men,” over at Champion City Comics, his webcomic The Ghost Engine, with artist Eric Zawadzki, and check out his Tumblr.

FACEBOOK

FACEBOOK

Daily Top Ten

  • Advance Review: Judge Archer (2012) DVDAdvance Review: Judge Archer (2012) DVD by Paul Brian McCoy
  • Better Call Saul 2.04 "Gloves Off" Better Call Saul 2.04 “Gloves Off” by Jamil Scalese
  • The Tenth Day of Christmas: Treevenge (2008)The Tenth Day of Christmas: Treevenge (2008) by Kit Miller
  • Sick Flix: Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)Sick Flix: Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) by Corin Totin
  • Gender, Transformation and Mr. Angel: A Chat with Buck Angel and His Wife Elayne AngelGender, Transformation and Mr. Angel: A Chat with… by Nate Abernethy
  • Women in Horror: Frances ConroyWomen in Horror: Frances Conroy by Jessica Sowards
  • Interview of the 50 Foot Cheerleaders!Interview of the 50 Foot Cheerleaders! by Jason Sacks
  • Once Upon a Time 2.05 “The Doctor”Once Upon a Time 2.05 “The Doctor” by Laura Akers
  • The Hills Have Eyes Part 2 (1984) vs The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007)The Hills Have Eyes Part 2 (1984) vs The Hills Have… by Corin Totin
  • The Blacklist 1.13 "The Cyprus Agency" & 1.14 "Madeline Pratt"The Blacklist 1.13 “The Cyprus Agency”… by Natalie Amato

PDI Press Bestsellers

Entertainment Earth

Weekly Top Ten

  • Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! – Apocalypse MaleFaster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! – Apocalypse Male by Paul Brian McCoy
  • Advance Review: The Legend of Tarzan (2016) Blu-rayAdvance Review: The Legend of Tarzan (2016) Blu-ray by Paul Brian McCoy
  • If It Ain't Funk He Don't Feel It: Howard the Duck (1986)If It Ain’t Funk He Don’t Feel It:… by Paul Brian McCoy
  • The Final Girl: I Spit on Your Grave (2010)The Final Girl: I Spit on Your Grave (2010) by The Final Girl
  • Drive-In Saturday: Heavy Metal 2000 (2000)Drive-In Saturday: Heavy Metal 2000 (2000) by Alex Wolfe
  • Unnatural Selections: Two-Headed Shark Attack (2012)Unnatural Selections: Two-Headed Shark Attack (2012) by Brooke Brewer
  • Scream 4: Sidney’s Final KillScream 4: Sidney’s Final Kill by The Final Girl
  • Sick Flix: Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)Sick Flix: Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) by Corin Totin
  • Nice Guys Finish First: The Death of Masculinity in Friday the 13th (2009)Nice Guys Finish First: The Death of Masculinity in… by The Final Girl
  • Sick Flix: Guinea Pig 6 – Mermaid in a Manhole (1988)Sick Flix: Guinea Pig 6 – Mermaid in a Manhole (1988) by Corin Totin
Entertainment Earth

Latest Reviews

  • Promising Young Woman (2020)

    Nate Zoebl
    January 1, 2021
  • Possessor: Uncut (2020)

    Paul Brian McCoy
    December 31, 2020
  • Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

    Nate Zoebl
    December 24, 2020

Latest Columns

  • Lost in Translation 371: Spitting Image

    Scott Delahunt
    January 15, 2021
  • Anything Joes: Unboxing: Symbiote Studios 12″ G.I. Joe Plush Cobra Commander & Snake Eyes

    Greg Engle
    January 13, 2021
  • Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! – Apocalypse Male

    Paul Brian McCoy
    January 9, 2021

INSTAGRAM

psychodrivein

Psycho Drive-In
Today at http://psychodrivein.com In Memoriam: Si Today at http://psychodrivein.com

In Memoriam: Sir Sean Connery (1930-2020)

But without further ado, here are some of our favorite performances by the late, great Sir Sean Connery.
---
Read more of our tribute at the link in our profile!

#Marnie #RobinAndMarian #Outland #TimeBandits #TheUntouchables #IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade #FindingForrester #SeanConnery #JamesBond #SirSeanConnery #Zardoz
Today at http://psychodrivein.com Lost in Transla Today at http://psychodrivein.com

Lost in Translation 362: Remaking Airwolf

The pilot could be used with the same beats, with String holding Airwolf as collateral to force the Firm to find St-John. 
---
Read more of Scott's article at the link in our profile!

#LostInTranslation #Airwolf
Today at http://psychodrivein.com In Memoriam: Al Today at http://psychodrivein.com

In Memoriam: Alex Trebek

Trebek seemed to have a good sense of humor and did not shy away from poking fun at himself. 
---
Read more of Jessica's tribute to Trebek at the link in our profile!

#AlexTrebek #Jeopardy #PepperAnn #Rugrats #FamilyGuy #MamasFamily #TheGoldenGirls #TheXFiles
Today at http://psychodrivein.com The Best of The Today at http://psychodrivein.com

The Best of The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror Episodes

The Simpsons’ Halloween Specials/Treehouse of Horror episodes are some of the best episodes of the show.
---
Read more of Jessica's list at the link in our profile!

#TheSimpsons #TheSimpsonsHalloweenSpecial #TreehouseOfHorror #31DaysOfHalloween #31DaysOfHalloween2020
Today at http://psychodrivein.com The Psycho Driv Today at http://psychodrivein.com

The Psycho Drive-In Halloween Party Playlist

For your Halloween enjoyment, here are 161 songs - around 10 hours of music for you - cultivated by the Psychos here at the Drive-In!
---
Listen to the Psycho Drive-In Halloween Party Playlist at the link in our profile!

#Halloween #HalloweenPartyPlaylist #Playlist #Music #Spotify
Today at http://psychodrivein.com Lost in Transla Today at http://psychodrivein.com

Lost in Translation 361: Bean the Movie

The plot is simple enough; Mr. Bean has to accompany the painting, Whistler’s Mother, from the Royal National Gallery in London to its new home at the Grierson Art Gallery. 
---
Read more of Scott's article at the link in our profile!

#LostInTranslation #BeanTheMovie #MrBean #RowanAtkinson #PeterMacNicol
Today at http://psychodrivein.com Pegg and Frost Today at http://psychodrivein.com

Pegg and Frost Return in Time for Halloween: Truth Seekers

It is an unexpected treat this Halloween season that Frost is in Truth Seekers, a Prime series dropping a first season of eight episodes on October 30.
---
Read more of Mike's article at the link in our profile!

#TruthSeekers #SimonPegg #NickFrost #SusanWokoma #JulianBarrett #MalcolmMcDowell
Today at http://psychodrivein.com The Existential Today at http://psychodrivein.com

The Existential Horror of Charles Burns’ Last Look Trilogy 

Last Look tells the story of pretentious art school loser and punk rock scene hanger-on, Doug, as we weave our way through his memories and dreams.
---
Read more of Paul's recommendation at the link in our profile!

#CharlesBurns #LastLook #XedOut #TheHive #SugarSkull #BlackHole #GraphicNovel #31DaysOfHorror #31DaysOfHorror2020 #Halloween
Today at http://psychodrivein.com How That Thing Today at http://psychodrivein.com

How That Thing Ended Up on my Porch: Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated

Underneath all the monsters and mayhem in Mystery Incorporated, the core of the show is the sometimes irrational love we have for the animals in our lives.
---
Read more of Mike's article at the link in our profile!

#ScoobyDoo #ScoobyDooMysteryIncorporated #MysteryIncorporated #UdoKier #HarlanEllison #JeffreyCombs #31DaysOfHalloween #31DaysOfHalloween2020 #Halloween
Today at http://psychodrivein.com Nosferatu (1979 Today at http://psychodrivein.com

Nosferatu (1979)

With Nosferatu, Herzog isn’t interested in crafting a horror film with easy scares. 
---
Read more of Peterson's article at the link in our profile!

#Nosferatu #Nosferatu1979 #WernerHerzog #KlausKinski #IsabelleAdjani #31DaysOfHalloween #31DaysOfHalloween2020 #Halloween #Vampire
Today at http://psychodrivein.com Terrifies, Horr Today at http://psychodrivein.com

Terrifies, Horrifies, Forever Scares—Roky Erickson and the Return of the Living Dead

Like many others, possibly even you, I first heard Roky Erickson’s music in Return of the Living Dead (1985). 
---
Read more of Fred's article at the link in our profile!

#RokyErickson #BurnTheFlames #ReturnOfTheLivingDead #31DaysOfHalloween #31DaysOfHalloween2020 #Halloween #TwoHeadedDog #2HeadedDog
Today at http://psychodrivein.com Stay Alive (200 Today at http://psychodrivein.com

Stay Alive (2006)

Being listed as “Disney’s only slasher film,” my interest in Stay Alive was definitely piqued.
---
Read more of Jessica's review at the link in our profile!

#StayAlive #31DaysOfHalloween #31DaysOfHalloween2020 #Halloween #JimmiSimpson #FrankieMuniz #JonFoster #SamaireArmstrong #CountessElizabethBathory #VideoGame #Slasher #Disney
Follow on Instagram
This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: API requests are being delayed for this account. New posts will not be retrieved.

Log in as an administrator and view the Instagram Feed settings page for more details.

TWITTER

My Tweets

Look Who's Talking

Amari Wolfe
Amari Wolfe - 12/11/2020
Popcorn Cinema: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
Don't know why, but the mention of Whammo Air Blasters made me laugh until it hurt. Very nicely...
mega leo
mega leo - 12/5/2020
Women in Horror: I Spit on Your Grave (2010)
To torture someone takes a cold kind of sadism. One that exceeds rage or revenge. One that shows a...
Dignan
Dignan - 10/29/2020
Nosferatu (1979)
Thanks for that, I can never seem to nail down that movie!
RSSTwitterFacebookinstagramtumblr

Archives

Large_rectangle_336X280
All work on this site is Copyright © each individual writer.
  • PDI Press
    • PDI Press Catalog
    • PDI Press Writers
      • Fiction
  • Columns A-D
    • A Fistful of Dollar Comics
    • ABCs of Horror
    • All Binge… No Purge
    • Anything Joes
    • Beautiful Creatures
    • Big Eyes Smart Mouth
    • Big Sleeps and Long Goodbyes
    • Cahiers du Horror
    • Dispatches From the Field
    • Drive-In Saturday
    • Dungeons & D-Listers
  • Columns F-S
    • The Final Girl
    • First Looks… Second Thoughts
    • The Flesh is Weak
    • Innocence and Experience
    • Lost in Translation
    • Popcorn Cinema
    • Psycho Essentials: The ’80s!
    • Schlock & Awe
    • Shakespeare on Film
    • Shot for Shot
    • Sick Flix
  • Columns U-Z
    • Unnatural Selections
    • Versus
    • Video Word Made Flesh
    • We Got Lists
    • Women in Horror
    • The Xeno File
    • Zombies 101
  • Reviews
    • Books
    • DVD/Blu-ray
    • Movies
    • TV
    • Series
  • Interviews
  • News
    • Trailers
  • Psychos
  • Merchandise
%d bloggers like this: