I know this is a pretty silly show. Most likely the lesser of the current gang of comic book TV shows. But, you know, when an episode starts off with GREEN arrow, Red Arrow, and Black Canary punching bad guys in the face, it just makes me feel good. It’s not a four course meal, true. But it’s comfort food for my geeky soul.
That said, this episode kind of stank. Despite a really awesome moment where Laurel zip lines along a rope/arrow right as it was being shot. After that there’s a lot of talking about things I don’t remember because I didn’t care all that much. Although, as I mentioned last time, they are still doing a better job of trimming down the soap opera moments in exchange for more action. That’s always a plus in my book.
I’m going to try and summarize the main plot without boring myself into a coma.
An old friend of the Queen family, Jessica Danforth, returns to Starling City with her daughter that no one really cares about, and brilliantly decides to run for mayor. Considering that the last three mayors were murdered, this career decision alone proves she’s dumb enough for the job.
Oh, God, that was close. Felt myself dozing off a couple of times.
We also have – you’ll never believe it – a sub-plot involving flashbacks of Oliver on the island. At this stage in the series, the flashbacks are feeling more like filler material than anything else. I imagine, among his gang, Oliver will occasionally start off a sentence with “You know, when I was marooned on an island . . .” followed by loud moans from everyone in the room. “Yes! We know already! Will you stop with the island shit? Seriously old, Ollie.”
Oh, another sub-plot. Felicity, as head of Palmer Industries, has to let some people go to improve the company’s profits and appease the shareholders.
Oh, God, it’s happening again. Feeling … weak . . . must not . . . talk about boring ass bullshit.
There was a slightly amusing moment (well, “amusing” if you’re a heartless bastard like me, I suppose) where a woman being fired by Felicity says something like, “We all had high hopes when we heard you were coming back. We thought you would make things better. I guess we were WRONG.” Ouch! That’s a soul blow right to the proverbial nuts, eh?
I think my favorite thing this episode is that Thea is becoming feral now. She’s tiny and deadly – just the way I like my sidekicks. She’s being chastised for being too good at kicking guys’ asses. Talk about injustice.
Laurel: “What’s happening? What’s wrong with Thea?”
Oliver: “Oh, Baby, it’s just a Lazarus Pit thang. We’ll make her better wit love.”
Or some shit like that. I don’t know.
(Two side notes. First, I love the way the show gives us a gay character without making a big deal out of it. As we saw with the Police Captain on The Flash, this character happens to mention his husband. That’s it. No self –congratulatory comments. He’s a dude married to a dude. And let’s move along. Love it. Secondly, whenever I see Team Arrow assembled (sorry Marvel) I can’t help singing Sesame Street’s “One of These Things is Not like the Other” song. Let’s see, we have Green Arrow, Red Arrow, Black Canary, and . . . John Diggle. It’s driving me crazy. Really, come on. Give him a name, already.)
Okay, let me try and wrap this up.
Something I didn’t mention last time is that Detective Lance is now the puppet of Damian Dhark. I didn’t think it was that major a development. We all know Lance is a dick. Yo, Detective Lance! Stop being a dick.
***UNINTERESTING SPOILER AHEAD***
There’s a crazy new thug introduced. He’s really dull. Thea kills him. She’s crossed a line and can never go back. But the guy was so annoying that no one even cares. After giving her a huge tongue lashing over how she’s going too far and might kill someone, she actually KILLS SOMEONE, and Ollie just goes, “Meh.” I swear, she should have punched him in right in his green nuts, right then. Team Thea all the way.
***SPOILER OVER – RESUME REVIEW OF UNINTERESTING EPISODE***
In a totally unexpected turn-of-events, Jessica Danforth’s daughter is kidnapped. Oh, no. Then she gets her daughter back. Yay. She decides not to run for mayor. Who woulda thunk it.
Now let’s get back to the meat of the show – Thea and Laurel.
Laurel and Thea are going on a road trip next episode! They’re going to Nanda Parbat to dunk Thea back in the pits to see if a second time will make her normal again. Hopefully, they’ll catch Pet Semetary on the flight over and save themselves some unnecessary trauma.
Laurel, just for shits and giggles, dug up her dead sister’s corpse to take along. A very shrunken and realistic corpse, I have to say. I found it fairly disturbing. I wonder what she’s going to do with it when she gets to the League of Assassins? Yes, I know you know. So do I. I was being whatdoyoucallit. Rhetoricals.
Okay, get outa here.