10 Iron Man and Iron Patriot vs. Ivan Vanko (Iron Man 2)
These fight scenes have been ranked by quality of violence, fighting and overall awesomeness. With that in mind, Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) and Iron Patriot (Don Cheadle) taking on Ivan Vanko barely makes the cut. Iron Man 2 is the movie pretty people ruined (screenplay by Justin Theroux and cameo by Scarlett Johansson). But as ridiculous as Vanko (Mickey Rourke) is, it’s pretty cool to see the Iron-heroes zap him to death. It’s also pretty damn patriotic–the two star-spangled heroes defeat the Russian war criminal …. with technology. Go America!
9 Iron Man vs. Iron Patriot (Iron Man 2)
This fight is hilarious as Iron Patriot struggles with the task of Iron Man damage control. The two friends roll in the suits Tony designed, wrecking Stark’s Malibu mansion. I love Iron Patriot, from his jingoist name to the “hey bro” ass-kicking he gives Tony. In the end, Iron Patriot steals Iron Man’s suit and flies away unharmed. You don’t mess with Iron Patriot–because inside that suit is Don effing Cheadle.
8 ScarJo (as Natasha) vs. Iron Man’s bodyguard (Iron Man 2)
Scarlett Johansson plays a two-faced killer by the name of Natasha Romanoff. Her swollen lips ensnare Stark’s bodyguard, Happy (Jon Favreau) into a lustful gaze. Happy carelessly invites the 130-lb hot chick into the boxing ring–what harm could she possibly do? A lot of harm, as it turns out. Happy barely gets fists up before Natasha hits him with a brutal takedown. I’m sure Happy envisioned his face in Natasha’s lap, just not with that painful leg bar around his neck.
7 Tony Stark vs. Brandt (exploding Homeland Security) (Iron Man 3)
In IM 3, we get the best villains in the trilogy. Many of them are human bombs, pieces of biological warfare disguised as humans. And one of the scariest h-bombs impersonates a Department of Homeland Security officer. Frightening. Good thing Tony Stark is always ready to kick ass. Officer glow-in-the-dark can turn her badge into a molten hot iron, but she’s no match for Tony’s MMA skills. Another villain down.
6 Tony Stark vs. Mandarin’s human bombs (Iron Man 3 )
More of Mandarin’s human bombs explode as Tony Stark struggles to protect a young boy. With the help of the boy (and a trip to the hardware store), Tony protects a town from the exploding bomb guys, and gets much needed evidence against the Mandarin. A mere coward of a terrorist, Mandarin sends these human bombs to do his bidding. Human bombs seem to be normal people at first, then BOOM, they explode like IEDs.
5 Iron Man vs. Obadiah Stane (Iron Man )
Iron Man and Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges) fight in the sky, in a gut-wrenching and suspenseful battle. Since Obadiah jacked an Iron Man beta suit, he can’t survive colder atmospheres. Iron Man uses this to his advantage, climbing higher into the sky until Obadiah’s suit freezes, and he falls to his death. It’s such an awesome way to kill someone and watching Obadiah fall makes me smile. Seriously, his name is ridiculous.
4 Iron Man vs. an Audi full of children (Iron Man)
I absolutely love this scene. Iron Man picks up an Audi to throw, then realizes it contains a blonde, innocent-looking family. The kids’ sad little faces stare in disbelief, as Iron Man struggles under the car’s massive weight. The mother has a particularly disgusted look and Iron Man finally drops the car, and watches the Swedish family drive to safety.
3 Pepper in Iron Man’s suit vs. terrorist attack (Iron Man 3)
This fight made the top three easily–it’s Gwyneth Paltrow in an Iron Man suit, fighting terrorists. That’s right, trusty Pepper Potts defends the Stark mansion against terrorists in helicopters. I’m not sure if the birds are true Apaches with Hellfire missiles, but they have some serious guns on them. Pepper rocking the suit and saving Tony Stark from a terrorist attack is so damn cool. It gives the trilogy a dash of feminism, a deviation from ScarJo’s trademark cleavage.
2 Iron Man vs. Aldrich Killian (Iron Man 3)
Coming in second for best fight scene (and dumbest name) is Aldrich Killian, played by the sexy Guy Pearce (The King’s Speech). Pearce portrays an excellent villain thanks to his crooked smile and beautiful hair. Killian has some pretty sick moves in his rooftop battle with Iron Man. But his bio-tech shit is nothing compared to Stark’s weapons. Tony ejects himself from the suit to escape before eventually killing Killian.
1 Iron Man beta vs. Afghani terrorists (Iron Man)
As much as I loved IM 3, the original has some pretty badass scenes. After a weapons test gone wrong in war-torn Afghanistan, Tony Stark gets abducted by terrorists. The insurgents take him to a cave and demand he make one of his deadly Jericho missiles. Luckily for America, these aren’t the brightest terrorists in the world. They let Tony Stark have an assistant and unlimited supplies. So of course, he busts out of the cave in a killer, Iron Man beta suit. The suit looks like Rosie the Riveter tried to make a knight–but it works. Iron Man beta scorches the terrorists and their stupid huts with powerful flamethrowers.