Mary Westbrook is: a) a possible pseudonym for JD Salinger; b) distributing dog-eared copies of Peter Singer books on the cars parked outside of a BBQ festival in central Texas; c) the person voted “Least Likely to Buy Her High School Yearbook” in her high school yearbook; d) the love child of Dorothy Parker and Chairman Mao; e) the proud owner of a bedazzled, stone-washed denim jacket signed by Tiffany on her ’87 tour.