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Columns
Beautiful Creatures

Beautiful Creatures Holiday Horror: Thankskilling 3 (2012)

Dan Lee
November 21, 2018
Beautiful Creatures

Few movies are as genuinely god awful as Thankskilling and its only sequel, Thankskilling 3. So why, then, am I going to review it? Two answers spring to mind. First, even as bad as it is, there are some genuinely awesome moments, lines, and creatures in this short-lived and ill-fated franchise. Second, and more to the point, have you looked at a list of Thanksgiving related horror flicks? It’s about as long as the list of Republican PBS donors. So, just in time for Turkey Day, let’s take a look at the best, worst Thanksgiving-related horror film ever made: Thankskilling 3.Thankskilling 3 (2012)

No. They did not, in fact, make three of these. Thankskilling (2009) was a genuinely super low budget horror comedy about a demonic turkey going on a raping, murdering rampage on Thanksgiving Eve to avenge…well…I honestly don’t remember. A gruesome, foul mouthed, fowl demon, there’s lots of cringe-inducing scenes, needless gore, and some boobs for good measure. Thankskilling 3 is the fourth wall-breaking follow-up in which the evil Turkey returns to try and save the last copy of Thankskilling 2, better known as the worst film ever made. What follows is an hour and a half of wildly insensitive jokes, puppet fornication, and gruesome, almost needless gore. Coupled with terrible acting, purposefully inept storytelling, and a plot that makes absolutely zero sense. It’s grueling to watch.

Yet, like the cinematic trainwreck it is, you just can’t help but keep watching.

Guys, I’m just going to level with you here. My enjoyment of this film is almost entirely of a puerile nature. As a horror film it is laughable with absolutely zero elements of actual horror. As an off-the-wall gruesome, dark comedy, it works amazingly. The story is ridiculous with special effects that feel intentionally bad for the sake of being bad. Add to this a cast including muppets, a gangster rap puppet, and a duo from outer space tracking down the accursed tape. Imagine a sort of free form horror-comedy in the vein of the most heinous episodes of South Park or Rick and Morty minus the intelligent, societally insightful undertones, and Thankskilling 3 is a phenomenal comedy.From a cinematic point of view, the choices of lighting, angles, and overall picture are great. With lots of scenes shot in darker settings against red and purple lights, it brings a great kind of otherworldly atmosphere to the movie. I’m a huge fan of the main villain, Turkie, as well as all of the puppet and creature builds done in this movie. Some of the one-liners and quips are also pretty funny in the most demented way imaginable.

On the whole, Thankskilling 3 isn’t a great picture. In fact, it’s one of those movies that will make you say, “What the fuck?!” a lot more than I really want to admit. Even so, it’s a good, gory laugh and an excellent distraction when the awkward family dinner conversation becomes a bit too much.

Thankskilling 3 is available on Amazon and, presumably, anywhere else that offers streaming movies.

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About The Author

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Dan Lee

Dan Lee is a horror fiend and writer with a love for monster movies and demonic possession stories and lives in the strange hinterlands just outside of a major Southern metropolis. As a lover of books and movies, he spends much of his time secluded in well-lit rooms reading classic sci-fi and horror while a scary movie plays soothingly in the background. With stories appearing in Deadman’s Tome, Devolution Z, and on his own blog and multiple sites across the internet, he’s slowly but steadily spreading his brand of strange, macabre fiction like a zombie virus across the world. His novella A Thousand Little Deaths is available via Amazon.

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