The Vampire Diaries 6.20 and 6.21

6.20 “I’d Leave My Happy Home for You”

Only one important thing happened this episode. Elena took the cure, and became human again. Immediately she became a damsel in distress chased by Ripper OG Lily Salvatore, but Elena’s been through this sort of thing before. She runs to a cold locker in a nearby business (just a delaying tactic, and she’s quite annoyed to have only human strength again), barricades the door, and slips out through the air vent (probably to the tunnels that run underneath the cavernous Mystic Falls). By the time Lily figures out what happened, Elena has already phoned Stefan to clarify that she’s home safe. Elena was only all right as a vampire (usually), but she generally kicks ass as a human.

6.21 “I’ll Wed You in the Golden Summertime”

This one is all ostensibly about Jo and Alaric’s wedding day, and the show really throws it together with aplomb. Well, Caroline does, who takes over (when the wedding planner calls in sick) with her usual efficiency. She also uses the day’s many projects as an excuse to apologize, one-by-one, to all the people she hurt while her humanity was off. She doesn’t quite make it to Matt (I imagine that one wouldn’t go down well, given Matt’s current no-tolerance policy to vamps; she made Tyler stab him, and he refused vampire healing), but Tyler is all like, “whatever.” So much so that she decides to question his career (he flunked out of cop school) and personal life (he’s still not talking to Liv, just because she tried to kill herself when her brother died). Because she’s Caroline, he almost listens. Caroline actually is much better as a vampire, and all I can say is I hope she and Camille never have to deal with each other in New Orleans, because I think Klaus would actually loose his mind if they didn’t get along.

Bonnie has bad dreams about Lily and Kai (two creatures angry with her since she’s used her witch powers to interfere with their nefarious goals), and when she tells Matt he’s all like “Bons, your dreams come true!” and springs into action. Too late though, Ghostbusters, as Kai has already escaped from the prison world and probably brought Lily’s revenants along with him.

Alaric had a bachelor’s party the week before (which was much more lively than Jo’s sad drunken shower of three acquaintances in a diner), where both Damon and Matt tried to reason with him as to the likelihood of finding lasting happiness in Mystic Falls with a pregnant Gemini Witch. But he’s got stars in his eyes, and after Isobel, he does deserve an actual loving wife and family. Elena gets it.

What she doesn’t get is why Damon wants to be human, too (she doesn’t require it, she still chooses him over Stefan, even now). So she and Stefan give him a psychic tour of their lonely future suburban life. It’s a world of horrific paperwork (what is a car loan?), TV dinners, noisy neighbors and the gradual flickering of human passions as they ostensibly age (which is demonstrated by not combing their hair as well). It’s all laid on pretty thick, and means nothing when Damon sees an actual old couple still happily bickering in their golden years. He realizes he wants humanity for real if it’s with Elena, of course.

What I don’t get is why Jo has invited the whole coven to the wedding, as they did basically kill Luke and are certainly going to have plans for those babies. Bridezilla powers are formidable, Josette, but they’re no match for a very angry Kai, who shows up with a very big knife and a lot of siphoned magic. He has apparently been bedeviling everyone all day while invisible (a patented Gemini trick), so way to give us the best cliffhanger of the season as the barn’s glass windows (leave it to Mystic Falls to build Gothic barns) explode over everyone!